Krishna Gautami had an only son and he died. In her grief she carried the dead child to all her neighbors, asking them for medicine and the people said: “She has lost her senses. The boy is dead.”
– Lord Buddha
At length Krishna Gautami met a man who replied to her request: “I cannot give you medicine for your child, but I know a physician who can.”
And the lady said: “Pray tell me, Sir who is it.”
And the man replied: “Go to Sakhyamuni, the Buddha.”
Krishna Gautami repaired to Buddha and cried “Lord and Master, give me the medicine that will cure my boy.”
Buddha answered: “I want a handful of mustard seeds.” And when the lady in her joy promised to procure them, Buddha added: “The mustard seeds must be taken from a house where no one has lost a child, husband, parent or friend.”
Poor Krishna Gautami now went from house to house and the people pitied her and said; “Here are the mustard seeds, take them!” But when she asked: “Did a son or daughter, a father or mother, die in your family?” They answered: “Alas, the living are few but the dead are many. Do not remind us of our deepest grief.” And there was no house where some beloved one had not died.
Krishna Gautami became weary and hopeless, and sat down at the way side, watching the lights of the city, as they flickered up and were extinguished again. At last the darkness of the night reigned everywhere. And she considered the fate of men – that their lives flicker up and are extinguished. And she thought to herself: “How selfish am I in my grief! Death is common to all; yet in this valley of desolation, there is a path that leads him, who has surrendered all selfishness, to immortality.”
Putting away the selfishness of her affection for her child, Krishna Gautami had the dead body buried in the forest. Returning to Buddha, she took refuge in him and found comfort in the dharma, which is the balm that will soothe all the pains of our troubled hearts.
Buddha said: “The life of mortals in this world is troubled and brief and combined with pain. For, there is not any means by which, those that have been born can avoid dying; after reaching old age there is death; of such a nature are living beings.”
“As ripe fruits are always in danger of falling, so mortals when born are always in danger of death. As all earthen vessels made by the potter end in being broken, so is life of mortals.”
“Both young and adults, both those who are foolish and those who are wise, all fall into the power of death, all are subject to death. Of those who overcome by death depart from life, a father cannot save his son, nor relatives their relations.”
“Mark! While relatives are looking on lamenting deeply, one by one of the mortals is carried off by death. So the world is afflicted with death and decay, therefore the wise do not grieve, knowing the terms of the world.”
“Nor from weeping, nor from grieving will anyone obtain peace of mind, on the contrary his pain will be the greater and his body will suffer. He will make himself sick and pale, yet the dead are not saved by his lamentation.”
“He, who seeks peace, should draw out the arrow of lamentation, complaint and grief. He who has drawn out the arrow and has become composed will obtain peace of mind. He who has overcome all sorrow will become free from sorrow, and be blessed.”
Summary
So what Lord Buddha is telling us is that while discharging our duty as mother, father, husband or wife, we must strive our utmost to cultivate the quality of detachment (vairagya). This does not mean that we become disinterested, withdrawn from, heartless or negligent towards our family members and friends, but it means that we continue to selflessly discharge our duties with love, nurture, help and support to the best of our abilities, while keeping ALWAYS in view the truth – that our loved ones are souls transiting through the earthly realm in order to work out their past karmas and to learn some life lessons.
And as they came, so shall they go. Keeping their and our own departure from this world, always in view we must not become excessively attached or allow ourselves to drown in grief at a loved one’s passing. Instead we must call down the Divine Grace of God (through prayers) and trust it to not only keep our loved ones safe in the afterlife, but also to give us the strength and courage to carry on bravely.
The above story has been taken from the Gospel of Lord Buddha. It appeared in the August 1896 issue of the Prabuddha Bharata Magazine started by Swami Vivekananda. At that time Swamiji must have overseen the publication of this article.
