Swami Sivananda
Attachment is the Cause of Grief. To Survive the Downs of Life, Vairagya (Detachment) is Essential
The above is a quote by Swami Sivananda. The same thing has been stated by Swami Vivekananda too. The latter has said that all our life we are taught attachment, but we are never taught detachment. It is attachment that is the cause of grief.
- A yogi does not get attached to material things. For e.g. we are very attached to food. Sometimes when the food is not cooked to our taste, we get angry and take out our frustration on our mom or spouse. This is not the yogic way. This kind of attachment to taste comes from identifying too much with our ego. So we must cultivate detachment to food by giving up some of the tasty things we enjoy. The subsequent detachment cultivated is very useful in life, especially in dealing with the loss of loved ones.
- Yogi’s are extremely empathetic and care for all (family, friends, pets) but they do not lose themselves in grief, when their loved ones pass. A yogi knows that everything belongs to God and will one day return to Him.
- Our attachment to the physical form of our loved ones must not be so strong that we are unable to rise again, weighed down by grief. We should keep in mind that the departed have just left their physical body but continue to live on in their subtle body. They are STILL with us, only their format has changed. Earlier they were in their physical body, now they are in their subtle. So if they are still with us, why should we grieve? Cultivating this kind of vivek and detachment (to their physical form) we must carry on bravely and not lose our bearing by submerging in sorrow and depression.
Man must conquer this illusion and know that the dead are here beside us and with us, as much as ever. It is their absence and separation that are a myth.
– Swami Vivekananda musing on the death of his beloved friend Mr. Goodwin – as recorded by Sister Nivedita in her book Wanderings with Swami Vivekananda published in 1913.
Life and death are only different names for the same fact, the two sides of the one coin. Both are Maya (an illusion) – the inexplicable state of striving at one time to live, and a moment later to die.
Beyond this lies the true nature, the Atman (Soul) that is never born, which never dies, never changes and never goes or comes. Without birth or death, eternal, ever-existing, free, unchangeable and beyond all conditions is this Soul of man – the real Self of man.
– Swami Vivekananda
