– Mother Mirra
The following powerful advice of Mother Mirra on how to resolve disagreements and reach a compromise, has been taken from the book: Words of the Mother – III.
Mother Mirra: There is another practice which can be very helpful to the progress of the consciousness. Whenever there is a disagreement on any matter, such as a decision to be taken, or an action to be carried out, one must never remain closed up in one’s own conception or point of view.
On the contrary, one must make an effort to understand the other’s point of view, to put oneself in his place and, instead of quarreling or even fighting, find the solution which can reasonably satisfy both parties; there always is one for men of goodwill.
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I said this mainly for men of action whose thinking is direct and formative, very active and dynamic. They see things in a linear way which is necessary for action; they can see that a thing must be done in such and such a way. Another person may have a thought which is equally dynamic and say, “No, it ought to be done like this.” So they quarrel, they are unable to reach an agreement.
But one can keep quiet for a minute and look at the thing calmly. The other person is not necessarily showing ill will, his point of view may be true or partially true. The question is to find out why he thinks like that. So you stop to think it over and try to identify yourself with the other’s point of view, to put yourself in his place and tell yourself, “He may have a reason for thinking as he does, and it may be better than mine.”
And in this way, you must try to find the solution which can reasonably satisfy both parties. This is very important when dealing with material things (i.e. in decisions concerning day to day life).
Summary
There are of course a few times in life, when certain firm ethical and moral decisions need to be made, where we cannot afford to compromise and so the above advice of Mother will not hold for those situations. For example, a compromise solution with Hitler would not have worked out for the Allied Forces in World War II.
Similarly, though Sri Krishna tried his best to reach an amicable solution with Duryodhana, the latter remained uncompromisingly adamant and ultimately Sri Krishna was left with no recourse but to go to war, and unseat the morally corrupt Duryodhana.
However there are plenty of everyday life situations, such as when we make decisions with friends on picking a restaurant, or where to go on vacation with our family, or in the corporate and political arena, where compromise solutions can be easily worked out, and ego battles and fights which devolve into mud-slinging and shouting matches, avoided.
